It is been a while since I ended my engagement with my ex-fiancé. I must admit it has not been the easiest road. I hurt people and is very hard to face each of them. I have learnt to take everything positive. Either way I got to hold on for my children and loved ones. I got to be strong to ensure they are also strong.
One of the things that I did that enabled me to stay positive, was taking a small trip. I went to a new place where people did not know me. It was not as fun as it could have been if I had gone another day but it definitely did the trick. It distracted me for a while and kept me from not thinking about my disastrous life.
Secondly for the first three months, I did not make major decision especially those that were going to affect my children. I gave it a rest and had a normal routine. I gave myself permission to feel what I was feeling. I broke down to tears because I knew if I held it in, it would destroy me.
Thirdly I had friends who were supportive, and were ready to stop their lives for me. They made it easier to face all my emotions. They gave me words of encouragement and helped me out in considering what I was going to do next. I told them how I felt and they consoled me.
Above all I learnt from my relationship, I did not think about who I should blame but I thought what I had done wrong in the relationship and could have I done it better. I was honest with myself and this liberated me because I did not need to blame myself.
It came a time and my clock started ticking again. It was time to move on. Many confuse moving on by starting to stalk the guy. Eventually you are the one who is hurt and lonely. I had a routine in which in the evening we would meet up with my ex-fiancé, instead I joined a music club. I love singing and I thought it was about a time I sang in a crowd. Every day I woke up not sure if this is what I wanted to do, but as time passed by, it became a normal routine that I was accustomed too.
What always made me stay positive was the fact that there was tomorrow. It would get better. Having a future ahead was what gave me courage to face the next day. I did face my fears and talked to my ex-fiancé explaining my actions to him and apologizing for my mistakes. This liberated me and I was able to move on.
I am looking down the lane and am thinking things could have been worse, I could have been an alcoholic, or I could have killed myself! I am happy I chose this road, and I will continue being positive that all will better.