There are sometime we always want to see everything colored even if it is black and white. It becomes hard to accept all this and we manipulate our eyes to see colored. We all know the stages of acceptance, it applies in almost everything including relationship.
You begin with denial, you clearly can see all you seeing is familiar. It reminds you of why your previous relationship did not work, yet you think is all going to change. I was once in such a position, being a mother of 2 in a marriage that was not working. I decided to move on by signing the divorce documents. It was not easy, let’s say being in a relationship for that long takes time to move on but I did move on. I met a guy and everything was just fine, or that was what I lied to myself every day as I slept. He began doing what my ex-husband used to do; forgot our dates, never appreciated any effort I took, raised his voice at me.
I always said to myself, it will all get better. Somewhere inside me I knew it was all a lie and I was going to face the music. Bargaining was the easy road. He had much in his mind that is why he forgot the date. Or he was needed at the last minute at work. This eventually becomes a culture, and when you are ready to stop lying to yourself, what come next is anger.
Anger can be very dangerous in a relationship especially if it is kept in. It is necessary to talk to your partner about it. You don’t confront them, instead ask them. Don’t be too judgmental, explain how you feel, if it does not work out, it only means the boat sailed long ago and there was no other option but to take the break.
You got to be calm when breaking up, this will ensure no one is hurt physically. Mentally and emotionally is inevitable not to leave a wound. Be near your anchor, your friends, they will help you face this rough time.
Eventually your anger turns to depression, you are always wondering was it your fault? Are you the one to blame for your separation? Was there something you could have done to restore your faded relationship? At this point you are vulnerable and if this guy came back to your life, you may take him back, even if he is poison to your life. You also decide to do some impulse actions that you regret later. It is good to be busy in such a scenario till all becomes clear to you. All the questions should be clearly answered by you for you to move on.
This leads to the last stage which is acceptance, it is the best part of all the stages. This is where you were once blind and now you have perfect vision. This is what gives you the push to move on and face another day. It is what makes you remember you were better than all that, and you made the best decision.